I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Is Oprah even human
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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