Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
