I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
