all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
