The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
