Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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