i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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