id be glad to
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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