Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
