Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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