So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
