She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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