I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
