you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
