Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
