I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
