I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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