That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
