Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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