oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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