Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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