Three words: puerto rican gang bang
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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