I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
