I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
