Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize