i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
