my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
