You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
