She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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