Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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