So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize