Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
