What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
