If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
