im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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