in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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