She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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