Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
