She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
false alarm. still invincible.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize