I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
