Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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