I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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