i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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