Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
