I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
