i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
