stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize