I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize