dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
