Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
