sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
