dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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