This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
