I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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