No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
