3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
