It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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