Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
