He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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